SA1 is finally over and Chinese o's is on its way! You know somehow I don't have any feelings of relief that my exams are over though. I feel like its still there! That tensed, guilt feeling of not studying is still there. Its like I wanna study so bad, but I just couldn't or, just cannot make myself to open a book and just read it there silently. Its time for me to visit the library again. and sit my butt down and get into the study mode once again.

I feel myself like I am in my own battlefield now. Where there's paper and pen there ready for what's right in front of me that I am not even prepared for, but something inside just isn't making me do what I want to do. Feeling so empty and tired at the same time. Tired for every single day.

Some motivation for myself:

This isn't the end of the world. What you are doing its just part and parcel of life. And when we look back we will think it as such an easy task and why couldn't we do it a little better. Just like when we are taking our PSLE we thought that it was so difficult that we could just die right at that moment while studying for it. But now as we look back we feel like we want to retake it again rather that the O's paper because the PSLE paper is just so easy. And as we go on there will be so much more of these things happening around us. Challenges will just keep coming, non-stop, one after another. Its like climbing the mountains where the peak is the success of a challenge that we have faced. So, I should study my O's and overcome this as quickly as possible. It will only be miserable for a year, but I want to do finish this with no regrets. Although I have no hardcore aim of where I want to go yet, but I do want to get a certificate that I will be proud of for the rest of my life when I look back. So this is what I want, and I am going to do this No Matter What It Takes. I may slack at times, but hope that I wouldn't slack forever.