Its been so long since I even start to type and think about I should really reflect on.
Nowadays, there's just too way too many things that I want to face up to or even admit... Every single problems ( i don't even know whether they are problems, usually I will just shove them aside as things). Simply put, what I am facing everyday is just chaos I have no idea what I should do... I have no idea where my life is moving towards.. I am just a sad depressed and just wants to be locked out of this world kind of kid right now and wish that someone is able to depict my life... How difficult or challenging can it get? Stable life...... And right now I am having difficulties achieving this shit! How can things get to this point?

Can't I just be a soul that flies around randomly and be everywhere that I want to be without any worries. I think I havent grow... I am just not suited to be 19 right now... Maybe everyone is right.. I am still that kid... that kid that doesnt know how to handle responsibilities.the one that doesnt know how to differentiate between the rights and the wrongs and just wish to have fun throughout her life...
I feel like my life has to slow down... JUST SLOW THE FK DOWN.., CAUSE IM NOT AT ALL READY! I am not ready to go out there to fight a spot in university... not in the right mind to face politics.... not in to be commited and stay committed in this act called love. Oh god.... I just wish someone can just teach me! someone get me ready for this shit.

Please... Someone please be somewhere and let me find you and teach me how I should lead my life.... and figure out within me what I want in my life... I'm just like a lost soul right now.