Sunday, September 4, 2011

Warmth embrace love I want you to give all to me. I want you here

it never once occurred to me that I will turn out this way. So low, so gross and disgusting. what made me like this i wonder sometimes.

Sometimes it turned out that I just need warmth love and trust from someone. I wanna talk with no awkwardness. Since when then we will get all matured?. Sometimes I ask myself that because sometimes I think that whatever that I am thinking are childish and immature. Or maybe sometimes thinking too much.

When I am down depressed, I cry and yearn for you. Want to see you even if you are gone, even if you are not here by my side hugging me. Still everytime I think of you, I feel I have let you down, even though I believe that there is no such thing as heaven or what ever is there for the dead to live again.. I wish you were here next to me. I want to say I am sorry, I am so sorry. I want you to cover up for me again. I want you. I want you so badly. I can imagine if you are still here right by my side you know. Sometimes in life there's just one thing that you cant let go for a long time and that is you. I need you so badly. Let me count. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 years? maybe 9? please dont take anymore away. if i could do anything to give the other eternal life I will do it. Every single tome I stand outside the door waiting for him to open the door. Sometimes he just take so long. What if one day I just wait and wait and he never appear right in front of my door step I am just so scared ahma. Dont take him away as well. All of you wont be there for me anymore..

All of you gone is like a knife twisting and turning in my heart making it heart so bad.

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