At times I just dont know what to say about how things are going right now. Although, some point in time when no one mentions, everything seem to be alright but when someone recalls it just brings back memories. But how come out of every memory that I had there is little of you?. What significance do you have that mean much to me? That I have to go through of ways to favour you. You said you tried. But I dont think you did. At least not for me. Stop ranting and posting them to public is a nuisance.

Has a sudden urge of missing you.The thought of November just made me think about you. Why I couldn't forget. Or was it while forgiving comes remembering. But still there is nothing to forgive. Or maybe while seeing/sensing comes remembering none of them made sense. There was still no good explanation as to why we broke. Was it me? Or was it my mum? Or was it there was always another her. You have never given me a good reason. Sometimes the image of you in my head just yearns a touch of you. desperate for some warmth from your skin. Some love from your heart. I want to hold you so tight. Hug you so tight. And at times I am just sick of missing. Sometimes, no warmth could be replace by yours.

I guess I can never really guess myself what is my character. I am neither this nor that. Maybe I am bad. Plain bad. But what makes me bad. Sometimes I feel myself as evil as a devil, but what did I do to make me like that? Sometimes I feel that I am desperate. Desperate for some love some warmth, but I am always surrounded with love. Or was it the love that I have received was not enough to satisfy my desire.

I cant wait for one day when I could control my knowledge of vocabulary in me. It makes me so angry at times, when I couldnt describe what I want to say. Everything in my head is just images, never words. Sometimes, its even difficult to even pen it down. Its like an oral picture discussion but just more complex.

When I think of the situation I am in, sometimes, I think that I think of them as too complicated when things were meant to be solve easily. We at this age are all trying to have mature thinking have a brain of your own, trying to be special trying to be the outstanding one, but what for, we will just look like plain fools. We are teenagers, having a mindset of a teenager, so just follow what the brain as open up for us.