Blurred

Actually I have no idea how to start this.
But I feel like I am slowly loosing this. Loosing everything that I used to have.
The friends that I once thought that I was the closest with is now gone. I have no idea what event lead to this but I dont think I really know who I really am anymore. I am talking about things like I actually know what is going on. But I have actually no idea what is going around me. All I am feeling right now is pressure. 29 days to promos, Not studying alot each day just make me feel fucking guilty. Fk shit, I no longer know what and where my support is right now. What seems to be relevant to me can no longer seem to be relevant to you guys anymore. At least to me, I felt that it was irrelevant to you guys. Thats why I am not telling anything to anyone of you. Because I just feel that you all dont give a damn anymore. All of us are on our seperate ways.
Will we still meet every March 3rd 333pm? Or maybe will I be able to make it?
I feel that I am going around with this aimlessly as ever. I am just not embracing what I have now enough.