Once again I have nothing to say but just tired.

You know, I dont know how much I have spilled and how much I have kept it to myself each time. And sometimes the things that I have kept to myself long enough, will be gone from my head soon enough. And sometimes, when I have spilled it out, enough times, I will forget all about them soon enough too.

Sometimes, as I am staring at the post box right here, I wonder, how many times of work I have in my bag, in my room, in my file and in every corner of my house. I think and I think and I will close this post box of mine. Cause, as soon as I open this page, my burden to study comes to me and all that I want to type in here will soon be gone.

And, there's something else. 'Forgive and forget' is a phrase on for the angels. You know, in order to forgive someone, it is necessary for one to remember in order to forgive. If you get what I mean. So sometimes, I feel that spilling out of emotions is sometimes necessary. Cause it is a way of releasing it as well. So sometimes when people bitch, they might not be really bitching. Cause probably what they are doing is just releasing their anger. But this is only applicable for those who are talking about the problems, or things that directly affect them. Bitching is talking about people that did not even bother you in the first place. You get what I mean?. sigh.. Its just so difficult for me to bring it across sometimes cause I am getting all my language mess up. You know I am frustrated how shit my language is right now.If I could just get my language right, I will respect myself dearly. You know I don't actually need people to go around telling, 'Hey its suppose to be did and not do. Your grammar is wrong.' This and that. I am perfectly aware that I have language difficulty. I am perfectly aware. And yet, I have to face up with it cause in this society what you can use is only english and without english you communicate with no one but yourself. That's a fact. Nothing can be change.

You know, sometimes I have so many things in mind. Wanting to do this, do that. But nothing is actually done. Procrastinating huh? But what to do, human nature?. If I was hardworking enough. Have enough motivation. Ambitious enough. daring enough to stand out. Daring enough to do what my instinct wants me to do. ( which is to study and not do anything else, not carrying what others think. No social interaction is needed. No need to think of what others think. But just to what you want to do) I guess through that I will succeed of course with enough determination. I guess this is the same to everyone else isnt it? Everyone is just lack of determination, concentration, motivation. if not, with that, I guess everyone will succeed. Because I believe that no one is stupid. One can only be cleverer than the other. But not stupid.

I believe that love is needed in life. It makes one feel that there's a motive, there's a way to move towards to. Its like a motivation to push to further. More like a boost to make you reach further than you actually could. Loving someone or having someone that you like, is like a new adventure each day for you to look forward to. Waiting to see what stands before you the next day. And while anticipating, it motivates you to have a positive mindset in life. Cause simply you have something that you can look forward to.